Sell By, Best By

Sell by. Best by. | Rosh Hashana 2 5783 | Rabbi Jonathan Kremer

Since the summer of 2020, Ellie and I have been volunteering at the Community Food Bank in Egg Harbor Township. The pandemic made us consider those in need, and we felt the need to respond by doing something hands-on, aside from the hands-on writing a check.

We have been working at the food bank on the morningsofmydayoff. We sort pallet-loads of donated foods and other items, making them easier for distribution.

The foods range from pop-tarts and instant oatmeal to canned chili or Spam, from pounds of pasta to squeeze bottles of jam, crackers and chips to tuna and dips. With minimal prep, an assortment of the items could provide a reasonably well-rounded meal for a small family.

There are basics: dried beans, peanut butter, pasta, and cannedmeats, soups and vegetables. There are seasonal donations, as well. At about the same time of year the food bank gets lots of chocolate Easter bunnies with broken ears, it’s inundated with boxes and boxes of matza—which actually is a pretty decent cracker when you don’t have to eat it every day!

Then there are the curiosities: peanut butter jars that have been opened and tasted—the spoon or knife indentation still showing! Opened packages of cookies. A single spray bottle of granite counter cleaner. Plug-in scented room fresheners. Clam sauce. Hair dye kits. A ceramic fish-shaped tea-light candle holder. A couple dozen inflatable beach balls. Cases of gourmet specialty sauces, perhaps products that failed to launch.

The food bank protocol is that canned items can be distributed up to two years beyond the date printed on the can. We’ve come across cans that were up to eight years past due. (One clue to old cans is a price sticker on the can! Remember those?) The way-too-old items have tended to come in small clusters, leading Ellie to suggest that the family was cleaning out “Aunt Joan’s” apartment, and why throw away good food?

Sometimes, the dates on products have no accompanying text. Others may include the words: “sell by” or “best by” or “expiration”.

Sell by seems a bit of a no-nonsense wording, reinforcing the commercial aspect of the producer/ consumer relationship. Sell by is about business, it’s addressed to the store, an imperative for the merchant: If it doesn’t sell by this date; give it away if you can.

Best by is about the product. You have to ask, once it’s past “best,” how long is the flavor and texture good enough, and safe to consume?

Expiration? Usually applies to perishables, meaning It’s too late; that can or box (or loaf of bread, bunch of bananas) is headed for the dumpster.

Why, on Rosh Hashana, am I talking about a food bank and its procedures?

I don’t remember any more what product I was checking, when it occurred to me that in so many unexpected places, we can be confronted with our mortality. Though that can really be anywhere, any time, starting with the mirror that hangs above the sink where you brush your teeth every morning.

A few years ago, it was Ellie’s 90-year-old father Joel Helfman commenting that he was barraged with calls offering an extended warranty for his new car. I turned that into a meditation on what an extended warranty for us humans could look like … and wondering about the terms of the policy and who would underwrite it. (At the time, I was reminded of the sign on the gatepost as you leave Beth Kehillah Cemetery: “Ask about perpetual care plus.” What is beyond perpetual? …but I digress.)

This is ABOUT TIME.

We all have time-bound impositions: taxes are due on the 15th, we dare not forget our anniversary, we want to send the birthday card on time, light a candle on the correct yahrzeit date. There are things in our lives that we did not determine but have to live by, that need to be done on time.

Our rabbis recognized this long ago: an ancient axiom speaks to the many sacrifices mandated in Torah and carried out for centuries at the Temple in Jerusalem: avar zmanobateil korbano; when the set time for a sacrifice has passed, that’s it, there’s no do-over.

Then there are things we get to prioritize: what’s most important, how do we determine an order, and develop an action plan to follow through. And, usually, when to do it over if we miss our target.

What are your goals? They can be lofty, quietly altruistic, deeply personal…or any or all of them.

Or maybe it’s finally time to pursue an artistic endeavor — painting, ceramics, music — you’ve sidelined for too long. Check out local adult classes at community centers or colleges.

Do you want to expand your learning of Torah? Look at the possibilities we offer at Shirat Hayam. And here’s a new one beginning soon: Torah through the lens of a feminist commentary, The Five Booksof Miriam by Ellen Frankel. Thursday evenings … in person and on Zoom.

Is it time to improve your health? Make a plan: walk, connect with a gym, a trainer. Consult your doctor!

Is a visit to Israel long overdue? Among your options is a congregational trip coming up next October….

Often, we can be more effective with sometime management, or awareness management, beginning with a step as simple as marking a target date on a calendar. And, of course, checking that calendar regularly!
I admit, time management is not my strongest suit. This year, my priority is to get better at it so that I can make more phone calls to congregants — to you! ; write timely thank-notes for contributions to my discretionary fund; create new art that relates to my teaching and preaching here at Shirat Hayam; and improve the Torah and prayer enhancementsI offer during services and in our Galeem Sunday school classrooms.

It may sound like a lot. I am confident that by managing time — or, more honestly, by controlling my proclivity to procrastination, I can give more and get more as your rabbi.

So, what is important?

For you, is it a promise you made to someone? For you, is there a personal intention you’ve been meaning to act on? Are there suppressed feelings that should be expressed? Has the family tiff gone on long enough? Do you want to engage more with your Judaism but feel a little awkward about it? Is there a personal passion you wish to pursue? Do you have a regret that’s been lingering well beyond its welcome?

Some years back, I allowed something to evade all my attempts at time management. I needed to make a shiva call, literally, a shiva phone call, as visiting in person was notpossible at the time.

As a teenage camper at Ramah in New England, I was a fairly ordinary kid except for one thing: I loved the classes! Yes, we had daily classes, in Hebrew and other Jewish subjects.

One teacher and I developed a connection that we maintained through irregular contact over the next four decades. Then we hit a quiet time, without being in touch for a lengthy period. When I heard indirectly that his wife had died, I intended to write or to call. I thought about what I would write, how I would share my memories of her. I renewed that intention to write or call over and over for a long time, going on a few years, I thought.

On Friday, I called.

It had been eight years since her passing.

Eight years of intention.

My teacher, now retired, was generous with his greeting. He sounded as sage, perceptive and witty as ever. Unbidden, he talked about his loss and how he’s been finding his way without her.

I shared my memories. We talked about our work in Jewish community, our families, writing (him, stories and solutions; me, sermons and songs). And we marked our calendars for a visit next summer.

We live with and appreciate things that never go out of date: deep friendships and loving relationships, the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, children’s laughter, the change of seasons, ocean waves.

Unfortunately, other things that affect us seem to be timeless: inequity in education that can limit lifelong potential and stunt the growth of individuals and communities; Jew-hatred that taints our college campuses; that we prioritize ourselves over our planet; the political rancor that has riven families…

As we saw last week in the new documentary on the US and the Holocaust, moral decision-making can be swayed by tactical/practical considerations and by personal prejudices. At the end of the documentary we are reminded, warned, that it doesn’t take long for the flames of Jew-hatred to spread dangerously even here, in what we wish were a more decently educated, progressive country.

One message of the documentary is that time can be circular, as in history repeating itself.

On all these issues, there are bright spots, things we can donow: with our time or treasure, we can support organizations that work to uplift, to repair; that advocate for religious tolerance and support Zionism; That feed the hungry; That seek to protect doctorpatient privacy from legislation; That welcome legal immigrants; That seek to protect voters’ rights and the idea that every vote counts.

And we are living the effects of climate change, a long time in the making. The effects, curtailments and adaptations that may ameliorate the worst can only be beneficial to the planet, even if one accepts the cyclical nature of global forces over an epoch or era.

In nearly everything we do, time is a factor, and it is passing quickly. With the ease of the internet, hateful, dangerous ideas have proliferated, some with deadly outcomes.

There is always time to decry, to rail, against a real or perceived imbalance, unfairness or insult. We’ve experienced this in real time through news media, in our families, and sometimes we see it in our communities. It takes little time to fulminate and foment.

Much harder is making time for proposing solutions, and acting on them.

How much time do we have? How much time do you have? How do you intend to spend it?

Time for yourself, for family. For community and country. For the world.

How much time do you have? How do you intend to spend it?

And when is it the right time for … anything? When is our “best by”?

The right, best time is when you make it so.

On Rosh Hashana, we renew our subscription to the Book of Life, and hope that it doesn’t lapse before next Rosh Hashana. In the time we have — and we cannot know just how much that is — we need to make the right time for what is important to us.

In Pirkei Avot (2:15), Teachings of Our Sages, Rabbi Eliezer said: Repent one day before you die.

Repent one day before you die. What a brilliant instruction! Every day, it should spur us to repent, that is, to reconsider our lives, our behaviors, to make for ourselves opportunities to change the things we do or how we do them.

Change is challenging, and some things are out of our control. However, we determine our priorities — our “best by” — and how to address them.

Joni Mitchell famously sang “We are captive on the carousel of time.” That is true; there’s only one way off.

However, before expiration, we decide whether to change horses and/or reach for the brass ring.