Before minyan this morning, we were bantering about newspaper delivery. The New York Times has been delayed this week, meaning that we get yesterday’s news tomorrow. I mentioned that, when I was a teenager, I discovered that you could get the Sunday NY Times on Saturday night — tomorrow’s news today?! How could they know?

We also talked about the days of multiple papers, early and late editions, mail delivery twice a day, milk bottles in milk boxes, and the advent of TV’s “late breaking news”. Today, with a myriad news sources online, even that is an anachronism: We never have to wait for news.

Well, almost never. It has been over a week of agonizing anticipation and growing resignation for the families and friends of those still missing in the tragic condo collapse in Surfside, a Miami suburb.

Many of the missing are Jews. In the normal course of a death event, at the moment of passing those family members defined as mourners acquire the status of “onen”. An onen is expected to focus on funeral preparations to the extent of being exempt from some basic expectations of Jewish law.

In Florida, the relatives of those still missing are not yet in that state. As far as I know, Judaism does not have a description for someone who may be reasonably sure that a loved one is dead but has neither physical proof nor a witness’s testimony.

How do you put a “title” on uncertainty, on hope that hangs from a fraying thread? As the days wear on, how do you keep a vigil over the mound of rubble that likely contains the remains of your mother, father, aunt, uncle, friend? When a worker calls out while trying to untangle the pile of concrete and metal — and personal effects, furniture, clothing, books, photographs… — do you jump up?

If you’re not at the site, how does your body react every time the phone rings? Do you take a deep breath to steel yourself against the expected even as a small part of you hopes for the miraculous? Do you whisper a brief prayer as your hand moves to answer the call?

For those in pain from knowing or not knowing in Surfside, we pray. We pray that they muster the strength to hold on to that slim thread. We pray that they are strong enough to mourn even if they have already begun grieving. We pray that they are able to accept the news, whenever it arrives, and, over time, come to remember the life more than the death.

Shabbat shalom !שבת שלום